I had never seen her so depressed. Tears were running down her face as I walked toward her. She seemed oblivious to my presence, probably thinking still, of the recent trauma she went through the past week.

I sat down beside her on the edge of the dusty pavement. Acknowledging my presence immediately, she tentatively wiped off her tears and turned to look at me. Her eyes were red and puffy from the crying and her lips were quivering, as if unsure of what to say to me.
She had contracted a rare sarcoma disease called Angiosarcoma. This disease is usually found in the internal organs and she, unfortunately, developed 22 tumors at the most important place of her body, her heart. Because of that, the doctor had told her that it was terminal, stating that she would not live anymore than a month. She never knew what was coming until it hit her.
¡°Feeling better now?¡± I asked gently. She nodded her head slightly. I knew she was lying as her hands were clasped round her knees so tightly that the blood in her veins could be seen clearly flowing underneath her nearly translucent skin. She was trying to control her emotions, her tears, held back desperately. My heart ached for her. My mind spun with dilemma, not knowing what I could do to ease her pain.

¡°Why is this happening to me?¡± She asked suddenly and not waiting for an answer, she continued, ¡°I mean, I didn¡¯t do anything wrong, I did not commit any crime or create any trouble, why is god giving me such a big punishment?¡± On that note, she broke down all over again.

I slowly and gently wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. She did not resist but instead, welcomed it with gratitude, hugging me back even more tightly, her sobs muffled against my shirt.

¡°You still have me, don¡¯t forget, and I¡¯ll stand by you always, no matter what.¡± I assured her. She responded to my assurance by holding me even tighter, so tight that I was afraid she would hear the pounding of my heart, which by now, was beating very fast at her closeness.

We were like that the whole night and I did not sleep while she did. The sun rose slowly against the horizon, welcoming a brand new day and to the two of us, a day of truth. I riveted my gaze from the beautiful sight onto Selena. She looked like an baby sleeping, seeming like she was oblivious of the sufferings around her, a face of peacefulness and contentment. Her light blond hair swayed gently in the cool breeze of the morning air. Her long eyelashes on her closed eyes produced a tiny silhouette against her skin, which gave an earthy glow, illuminated by the rising sun. Her mouth, cherry-shaped was slightly parted in slumber. I had never studied her so closely before and holding her slight figure in my arms now, I thought how much she had changed, from a young bubbly girl to a sensitive and beautiful young lady.

I withdrew myself from her gently and lifted her up slowly, taking extra care not to wake her up. In what seemed like the longest journey, I carried her back into the hospital and finally reached her room. The forbidding figures of the hospital bed, tables and chairs stood out like dangerous thorns and it pained me to know that Selena was to stay in such a surrounding. I slowly lay her down on the cold mattress of the bed. She still looked like an baby, only this time, with hell as backdrop, the only pure essence in a place of sins.

I walked over to the window and drew the curtains. Sunlight streamed into the room. Selena moved from her sleep and her eyelids fluttered and opened, revealing her ocean blue-green eyes, still in drowsiness. When she saw me, a slight smile revealing her dimples crept onto her pale face, warming my heart almost immediately. I smiled back and walked to the side of the bed. Our hands found each other and clasped together in unity. I looked up to the clock on the plain sand-brown wall. 6:26a.m. Thirty four minutes before her operation. I looked back at Selena. Her eyes were closed again but the smile on her face was still there.

We held hands like that until a nurse came ten to fifteen minutes later and signaled me to leave the room so she could change Selena into her surgery gown. Selena opened her eyes slowly and gave me a smile of assurance. I reluctantly released my hands from her¡¯s and left the room, out into the now busy hallway. Nurses with clipboards in their hands, doctors with hands in their coat pockets and patients pushing their IV tubings on a roller as they walked, came and went. I watched the scene in a mindless daze until the wait for Selena came into an end when the nurse came out, pushing her on a mobile bed out of the room. I immediately rushed to her side and held her hands as we moved towards to operating room. Selena gave me another smile again, seeing my worried look.

¡°Don¡¯t worry, I¡¯ll be fine.¡± She said softly to me. I nodded my head but in my mind, I knew I wouldn¡¯t stop worrying until everything was over. Knowing that I was her only nearest kin as she was an orphan, it pained me to think that she had to go through this alone.

¡°Jared? I¡¯ve got something to tell you¡_¡± she said suddenly.

¡°Yes?¡± I asked anxiously but not knowing why. We were getting nearer to the operating room. It was just a few steps away.

¡°I love you.¡± She said softly and a tear escaped out of the corner of her eye. Before I could answer, she was pushed into the room and I was left alone outside. The operating light went on.

The wait was agonizing and the last words she said to me kept spinning in my head. She loves me, she loves me! I love her too! I thought. Millions of other thoughts bombarded my mind as well, and it took me great effort to clear my mind to peace. I sat down on a bench against the wall outside the room and went through the longest moment of my life.

Finally, four hours later. A doctor in surgical mask and gown came out. I immediately rushed up to him and asked anxiously, ¡°How is she?¡±

The doctor avoided my eyes and took off his mask. ¡°Are you related to Selena Nolan?¡± He asked monotonously.

¡°I¡¯m her¡_,¡± I stuttered unsurely and then Selena last words popped into my mind once more and suddenly, it all came to me. ¡°I¡¯m her boyfriend.¡± I said.

The doctor finally looked at me and gave me a sympathetic look and I knew at that instance what the answer was. I let him go on anyway.

¡°She didn¡¯t make it, we tried our best, we really did but we¡¯re sorry.¡± He said sadly and giving a light pat on my shoulder, he walked away.

Tears started following uncontrollably from my eyes but I managed a smile. The only thought in my mind now was, Selena might have left this world in pain, mine and hers but she had emerged with love, an angel. I knew I would always love her and she would too. Our love would be undying, whether in this world or the other, we would always always be one.

--The End--