I couldn't Tell Him I loved Him
My story starts here...... we met on this internet space. I was only browsing when I came upon him. For some reason he stuck out. So as I began to learn more about him I realized how much we had in common. So I gathered enough courage to talk to him. After chatting online and on the phone for many, many, many hours. We decided to meet. I can't tell you the instant attraction I felt for him.
The first kiss was the most passionate kiss I had felt in so long. I wanted so desperately to give into it and to him. It took everything I had to walk out that night. But after many more visits and long conversations, I felt myself falling in love with him. Every touch, every kiss made me fall deeper and deeper. He would hold me every night until the sun came up and I felt the time we spent together was never enough.
He would ask me if I loved him. I would always laugh it off, feeling insecure that if I told him I did he would be gone. So I never said it, those words that could make or break my heart. What if I told him and he said nothing, what if I told him and he said he loved me too. What if I told him, gave him my whole heart and then realized I made a mistake. It was too soon.
Finally one night I found this hidden confidence to tell him. As i lay in his arms, with my head on his chest, I whispered how I loved him. Then I pulled my body closer to his and closed my eyes. I prayed deeply that he did not hear. I don't believe he did. But I now wonder will I ever have the confidence again to say those words. I guess for now my heart will be torn. But I will continue to feel safe and protected in those arms and loved and caressed with his kiss. If the chance ever comes again. I only pray that I have the courage to face the reaction and that my happily ever after is the result.